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Resume Bloopers

Resume BloopersOkay, so now that you have read about Top 10 resume errors and are appropriately terrified, you may also be paralyzed. That’s why I decided to include at the end some resume bloopers that will give you a chuckle and help you relax. Studies have shown that people make much better decisions after they have had a chance to laugh and relax, so take a couple of these in, shake off your tension, and then begin creating the document that will be your employment helpmate.

Spelling and proofreading errors:

  • Strong work ethic, attention to detail, organizational abilities, team player, attention to detail.
  • Experience: Stalking, shipping, and receiving.
  • I work well with the pubic.
  • I took a career break to work on my horse.
  • Experience: Working with the elderly and people in a vegetable state.
  • Employment experience: Revolved customer problems and inquiries.
  • Seeking a party-time position.

In the category of too much information:

  • Other interests: spending time with my cat (actually, it’s my husband’s cat but I love the cat more than he does and he never really pays attention to it.)
  • Hobbies: over-eating, getting drunk, and having a good time.
  • In answer to why he wanted the position, an employee wrote: To get my parole officer off my back.
  • Achievements: Nominated for Prom Queen.
  • Spent $3 million over budget in new corporate facility planning.
  • Can belch the ABCs
  • Candidate description: I am like a wedge made of sponge. My goal is to wedge myself into an organization and soak up as much as possible.

Poor choice of words:

  • I want to play a big part in watching others achieve success.
  • I am a hard worker, etc.
  • I have guts, integrity, ambition, and drive, which is probably more than most of the people you have working for you.
  • Reason for leaving: Pushed out so that managers new trophy wife could get a job.
  • Any interruption in my employment history is due to being unemployed.

And downright bizarre:

  • Job Experience: Instrumental in ruining entire operation for local retailer.
  • I would like to work somewhere that has a very relaxed late policy.
  • Reason for leaving: I thought the world was coming to an end.
  • It’s best for everyone if I don’t work with other people.
  • Qualifications: I can imitate a large number of foreign accents.
  • I have 28 dog years of experience.